Summary Self-esteem is your opinion of yourself. Everyone lacks confidence occasionally but people with low self-esteem are unhappy or unsatisfied with themselves most of the time. It takes attention and daily practice to boost a low self-esteem.
This paradigm presumes that we are incomplete and require a partner to make us whole, and feeds into the "hole in the soul syndrome," a core sense of insufficiency leading to feelings of emptiness, neediness and self-reproach.
As a result, we look for a partner to fill in the holes.
Authentic love is attracted by those who desire it and is repelled by those who need it. Wanting connotes sufficiency and desire; needing connotes insufficiency and dependency. If you treat yourself as unimportant, chances are you will be treated as such by your mate. If you are stingy with yourself, be it in terms of time, money or attention, you will most likely attract a lover who lacks generosity toward you.
If you do not take care of your physical self, your partner can hardly be expected to view your body as a temple.
On the other hand, if you require respect, kindness, caring, and integrity in your relationship with yourself, you lay the groundwork to receive the same in your relationship with others.
If you forgive yourself, others will know it is not acceptable to berate you for your mistakes. If you respect your needs, your partner will as well.
If you listen to and honor your inner messages, your partner will respect your inner radar. Your internal beliefs and expectations will be reflected outward and you will be treated in kind. One of the most important things you can leam from nurturing an authentic and loving relationship with yourself is acceptance.
Practicing this kind of acceptance on yourself is what will enable you to extend that level of tolerance to your beloved. If you accept your own imperfections, then you will be more tolerant of the imperfections of others.
If you learn from your own lessons, then you create room for others to learn around you. Lack of self acceptance can go a long way toward eroding love relationships, since the negativity you harbor about yourself will surely bleed onto your partner.
Negativity is like a cancer that grows and spreads from one partner to the other, poisoning the entire relationship. At its extreme, low self-esteem can cause people to reject or sabotage love relationships almost automatically. Feelings of self-disdain and shame may run so deep that some people cannot allow anyone else to love them, no matter how much someone might try.
They either cannot recognize authentic love, since they have no frame of reference to which they can compare their experience, or they reject their potential partner because they cannot imagine that anyone worth having would want them.
While the old Groucho Marx joke about not wanting to be a member of any club that would have him for a member sounds amusing, there is a familiar ring to it.
This is where the work begins. You stop looking for another to validate your existence, to complete you, to fill you up to do your work for you…you start loving yourself when you believe it is completely unimaginable.
You love your mistakes, your insecurities, your fears, your anxiety, your laziness and even your lack of focus or motivation. This article originally appeared at YourTango.Between influences of the media and the general tendency to compare oneself to others, a person’s self-esteem can plummet without much effort.
Besides formal psychiatric, cognitive behavioral and pharmaceutical therapies, there are simple steps one might take to help combat these feelings of low self-esteem.
Self-esteem is about loving the self for no reason other than it is self. Self-esteem is confidence in who you are, where you are and what you are doing in the moment.
It is an awareness of your humanness and the propensity all of us have to fail, to look silly, to be wrong and yet — to still be okay and acceptable as human beings. Low self-esteem can be a declaration of “look at me” just as much as pride. It simply takes a different route to get to the same destination, that is, self-absorption, self-obsession, and selfishness.
Oct 03, · Changing Our Thoughts about Low Self-esteem Eastern thinking tends to address life organically thereby including everything in the circle of life.
We in the West like to take that circle apart - making it linear - by addressing a problem and then finding a solution.
No, there's nothing wrong with you. Low self-esteem. We all know the term. It’s more than personal for most of us. It’s been part of so many of our stories.
Relationships and Self Esteem. Low self esteem will affect your relationships negatively; Sometimes partners can get into a small war and this is fought with finding fault in each other. True love means changing this so you see the good in your partner and forget the negative. Expect your partner to behave better and be the person you.